I never thought I would be sharing this news… After 10 years together, Schyler and I have sadly parted ways. This has been extremely difficult for me because he was my best friend and life partner for all these years. He is also the father of the baby still growing in my belly. Unfortunately, Schyler struggles with mental health issues. I started noticing this after we had been dating for about 2 years and I tried to convince him to seek help many times. I dealt with the ups and downs of these issues because I loved him and I thought he would eventually get better. There were good years and bad years, good months and bad months. No relationship is perfect, but we had been through so much together that I truly believed our love/bond was unbreakable. I never imagined that we wouldn’t make it, I thought we were both in it for the long haul.

This year, things seemed to be much better with his mental health. I had always wanted to wait to start our family until after we were married, but Schyler convinced me that we should stop putting it off and I obviously agreed. We were both so happy when I became pregnant and planned on getting married next year in an intimate wedding with my family in Italy after the baby was born. We were also saving so that we could finally buy a house. Then when I was a little over 5 1/2 months pregnant, he hit a wall with his struggles that he couldn’t seem to get past. He believed the baby and I were better off not having to deal with his issues. I had never seen this version of Schyler before and nothing I said could convince him otherwise. Almost two months ago now, I had to pack up my things and move to Phoenix to live with my parents. My parents did not want me to bring my labradoodle Indio and Schyler and his dad wouldn’t keep him so I had to give him up too, which was another huge loss that I will always feel guilty/ashamed about. Schyler did end up regretting his decision, but it was a little late as I was already driving across the country and my trust in him had been broken. He knows what he needs to do to earn it back at this point if he wants the baby and I back in his life but it doesn’t seem to be a possibility at this point.

Get The Look

I was so depressed during the breakup, the move, and for about a month after. I could not stop crying, I couldn’t sleep at night, I would have mini panic attacks throughout the day and night. It was really scary because I knew the stress and trauma wasn’t good for the baby. I was grieving the loss of the life, the family, and the pregnancy I thought I was going to have. I questioned non stop whether or not I made the right decision. It was absolute torture, literally my worst nightmare come to life. I have definitely gone through the entire spectrum of emotions, sadness, anger, resentment, hopefulness. It took me almost 2 months to share this news because I wanted to give myself time to recover emotionally for myself and for the baby. Not a day has gone by that I don’t feel sad or want to cry, but the pain is slowly subsiding which I am grateful for. I do have pity in my heart for Schyler because the demons that would make him not want to be there for me and the baby must be inviolable.

It feels like I was so close to having all my dreams come true only to have them shattered. I am devastated, embarrassed, and heartbroken. But I know that I did everything I could and gave all I had to give in our relationship. I hope that overtime I can heal from this and I know the most important thing now is focusing on my baby boy who will be such a blessing in my life. I will be a single mom when he is born early next year which I never thought possible. My heart goes out to all the other single moms out there and those struggling with a loved one with mental health issues <3

XOXO