Full term with my baby boy in the desert! These last few months have seemed so long but now we are only a week away from his due date. It’s been a long and tough journey emotionally for those who have been following along with my story, but it feels incredible that I will finally be meeting him so soon. All my life I have wanted to be a mommy while also being petrified of being pregnant and going through labor. Now that I’ve experienced pregnancy, I know what an incredible miracle it is to be the perfect home for my baby and how amazing that feels. That’s not to say it doesn’t come with its challenges of course but every inconvenience has been worth it. I haven’t felt too scared about labor which has been surprising, although I know the day it happens will be tough. I’ve been doing my best to research and prepare myself for it but I know the joy of getting to hold my baby in my arms will wash the rest away.

I finally have some good news about Schyler, the father of my baby and my partner of 10 years. We split up over halfway through my pregnancy when Schyler was suffering a mental breakdown. He had struggled with his mental health over the years but this was the worst it had ever been and he didn’t want to go get help at the time. He thought it would be better for the baby and I if we weren’t together, a decision he regretted as soon as we left. However since I had seen that his mental health struggles were much worse than I had ever imagined, I couldn’t go back unless I knew he was getting help because I had to think about what was best for our son at that point. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. It was very tough having to go through the rest of my pregnancy without him because he was such a crucial part of the first half giving me constant support, attention, and love. I never imagined going through a pregnancy without that and it has been brutal at times. Now four months later, he is finally getting the help he desperately needed.

He’s having a tough time and my family and I have been praying for him everyday. I don’t know what the future holds, but at least now I can have some peace of mind as I go into the delivery room to give birth to our son any day now, knowing that he is getting the help he needs. I have prayed for this for months now and I was honestly starting to lose faith that it would ever happen. But my prayers were finally answered and I am so thankful for that even though it is such a difficult situation I never could have imagined myself in. 2023 has been the worst year of my life in many ways but the best thing to come from it was my pregnancy with my son. He is the silver lining in all of this.

I will do everything in my power to be the best mommy I can possibly be to my son, my little miracle. I love him so much already and I can’t wait for the moment that he is finally earth side in my arms. 2024 will be the best year of my life because of him <3

XOXO